How do I set house rules for my domestic helper from day one?

Quick Answer

Write your rules down before the helper arrives — covering working hours, phone usage, food, cleaning standards, and rest day arrangements. Go through them together on day one, explain the reasoning, and give the helper a copy. Clear expectations prevent most conflicts.

Overview

The single most effective thing you can do as a new employer is put your expectations in writing before your helper arrives. Not as a power move — as a communication tool. Misunderstandings cause more problems than bad intentions.

What to Include

Working Hours and Duties

  • What time does the workday start and end?
  • Daily cleaning routine — which rooms, how often
  • Cooking expectations — meals per day, dietary requirements
  • Childcare or elderly care specifics
  • Laundry schedule

Phone and Social Media

  • When is phone use permitted? (Common: after dinner and on rest days)
  • Wi-Fi access — most employers provide it
  • Video calls — where and when

Food and Kitchen

  • Will you provide meals or pay the food allowance (HK$1,236/month)?
  • Grocery budget and shopping expectations
  • Cooking instructions — show your recipes, be patient

Privacy and Space

  • Bathroom sharing arrangements
  • The helper's room is their private space
  • Visitors policy

Rest Days

  • Which day? (Sunday is standard — community and church access)
  • Start and end time
  • Overnight stays — your call, but be reasonable

How to Communicate Rules

  1. Write them down — printed or shared document
  2. Walk through together on day one
  3. Explain the "why" — rules feel less arbitrary with reasoning
  4. Listen — your helper may have practical questions
  5. Review after two weeks — adjust what isn't working

The Golden Rule

Be specific, fair, and willing to adjust. "Keep the kitchen clean" means nothing. "Wipe counters after every meal and mop daily" is actionable.

Important Notes

  • House rules cannot override legal rights (rest days, holidays, privacy)
  • If a rule isn't working, talk — don't let resentment build
  • The first month is for learning. Expect mistakes. Correct gently.

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