Your Helper's First Week: A Practical Settling-In Guide

The first week sets the tone for everything that follows. Your new helper has likely just arrived from the Philippines or Indonesia, perhaps for the first time, leaving her own family behind to come and help yours. A little warmth and a little structure in these early days pay off for years. Here is a practical guide to the first seven.

Start with a welcome, not a task list

When your helper arrives, give her a moment to breathe before anything else. Offer a drink, show her where she will sleep, let her put her things down. A tired, nervous person cannot take in instructions. A rested, welcomed one can.

If the paperwork was prepared properly, the first day is far calmer. Our documents checklist walks through what should already be in order before she arrives, so day one can be about settling in rather than scrambling for forms.

Show her the home and the neighbourhood

Over the first day or two, walk her through the flat slowly. Where the cleaning things are kept, how the appliances work, which cupboard holds what. Nothing is obvious to someone seeing it for the first time, and Hong Kong kitchens and washing machines are rarely the ones she grew up with.

Then step outside. Show her the nearest wet market and supermarket, the MTR station, the pharmacy, where to buy a SIM card, how to use the Octopus card. Knowing how to fetch a carton of milk and top up her phone is a small thing that helps a person feel much less lost in a new city.

Agree the house rules together

Every household runs differently, and your helper cannot read your mind. Sit down together in the first few days and talk through how your home works: mealtimes, the shape of the day, what matters most to you, and the things you would always rather she asked about first.

Do this with her, not at her. A rule agreed in conversation is one she will remember and respect. Our Household Rules template gives you a friendly structure for that conversation, with space to fill in the details side by side.

Settle the rest day early

Your helper is entitled to at least one rest day in every week, and it is worth agreeing which day right at the start. Talk about it openly. Some helpers like a fixed day; others appreciate a little flexibility around the family's week. Settling this in the first few days heads off a lot of quiet resentment later, and it shows her that you take her wellbeing seriously.

Communicate simply and kindly

English may be a second or third language for both of you. Speak plainly, keep instructions short, and check understanding by asking her to show you rather than only asking if she understands. Write the important things down. A shared notebook on the kitchen counter often works better than a rushed word on the way out the door.

Culture takes time too. The food she is used to, the ways she shows respect, the festivals that matter to her. A little curiosity on your side goes a long way. Ask, listen, and assume good intent when something is misunderstood, because in the early weeks a fair amount will be.

Set realistic expectations

Nobody does a new job in a new country perfectly in week one. She will forget where things go. She may cook a dish the way her family likes it rather than the way yours does. Correct her gently and specifically: show her once more instead of sighing. Most helpers are anxious to do well. What they need from you is clarity and patience, not pressure.

If children or elderly family members are in her care, introduce them slowly and stay close by in the early days. Trust in those relationships is built over weeks, not hours, and it is worth letting it grow at its own pace.

Be patient with the homesickness

Somewhere around the third or fourth day, the newness wears off and the distance from home can hit hard. This is normal. A kind word, a little privacy to call her family, and an understanding that the first weeks are simply an adjustment will help her through it. A helper who feels cared for settles faster and stays longer, which is good for everyone under your roof.

Looking ahead

Get the first week right and much of the rest tends to take care of itself. Warmth, clear communication, and a fair rest day are worth more than any checklist.

When you are ready to put the practical pieces in place, our Household Rules template and the documents checklist are good places to start.